“I Chose Survival Over Silence”: Nigerian Woman Walks Out of 4-Year Abusive Marriage

 

A Nigerian woman, Quenny Ogechukwu, has publicly shared her decision to walk away from her marriage after enduring what she describes as four years of physical abuse, emotional trauma, fear, and constant humiliation.

In a heartfelt Facebook post published on Saturday, April 5, 2025, Quenny recounted the harrowing journey that led to her breaking point. She described a relationship marred by domestic violence, public assaults, and threats to her life, all allegedly carried out by her husband, Offorbuike Ernest Ogbuyeme.

"I mustered the courage to leave an abusive marriage… I’m broke, scared, and uncertain about what the future holds, but nothing is scarier than living with a man who thinks it’s okay to pour hot tea on my face because he’s angry."

According to her, the abuse began during their courtship, but she proceeded with the marriage out of fear of societal judgment. Quenny detailed chilling instances of being locked out of the house at night, choked until her skin bruised, slapped, and publicly beaten—even while holding a sick child.

"I have become paranoid. My heart skips each time I see him. I don’t know when the next slap or punch will come. I’m constantly running in my mind because I don’t feel safe. This is not how anyone should live.”

She explained how the cycle of abuse was perpetuated by emotional manipulation, where he would apologize after every episode, act lovingly for a short period, then revert to his old ways.

Despite the pain, Quenny said her decision to finally leave was for the sake of her children, whom she hopes to raise in a peaceful environment free from violence and fear.

"I may not have loved myself enough to walk away during courtship, but I love my kids enough to not let them grow up thinking it’s okay for their father to beat their mother in their presence."

She also addressed those who might criticize her for airing her story publicly, making it clear that her priority is survival—not saving face.

"If your advice is for me to go back and make peace with this man, you’re officially my enemy. I want only one thing from him now: leave me alone."

Quenny concluded by stating her intention to follow proper legal channels to dissolve the marriage and co-parent peacefully if possible, emphasizing that remaining silent has brought her nothing but pain.